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I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. The good, the bad and the ugly. It makes it easier for me to accept things that way. Of course, at times its easier said than done and there are some things that happen that cannot be explained by this term. But in the general sense, 95% of the time I truly believe this to be the case.
Let me put it into context. I’m off work sick at the moment whilst I have weekly EMDR therapy for PTSD (I will do a separate blog about this another time). For a few days after therapy I am totally wiped out and have no energy. For the rest of the week I have been reading books, napping during the day, watching series on Netflix, eating junk food and just generally being a bit of a sloth.
For the last maybe week and a half I’ve been thinking a lot (more than usual) about what it is I want out of life and how I’m going to get there. Maybe it’s the therapy, the fact I’ve had a lot of time to think or a mixture of both. Immaterial. What matters is that since I’ve been in this mindset, I have seen the time 11:11 every day. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, well of course I’m bound to see it whilst I’m off work because I’m spending a lot of time on my phone. But the question I pose to you is this, why have I only now just starting seeing this time when I’ve been off work for nearly 3 months already?
On the third day I saw 11:11, I started to think maybe this is a sign (I know you think I’ve gone a bit bat s*** crazy but bear with me). A sign that I was on the right path and (“this chick has totally lost it!”) that I should continue with the mindset of discovering what it is I am meant to be doing. I know what I want to be doing. It’s this. Exactly what I’m doing this very moment. Writing. But not just writing for the sake of it, I want to write with the purpose of helping other people or making them laugh (or both). Hence the birth of my blog; Living My Anxious Life.
So, do the WHYs surrounding my reason for deciding now is the perfect time to begin this even matter? Surely all that matters is I have started doing something which I have wanted to do for ages, something I think I am going to love, something that will keep me focused and give me a purpose? Yes, me thinks so.
Thanks for popping in,